A barbaric YAWP across the Web

Random musings of a sometimes political, sometimes mundane mind.

Random thoughts on social networking June 30, 2007

Filed under: Activism, Just Life, Life, My Crazy Mind — wheresroxy @ 8:33 pm
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One thing I have discovered here on the Internet is social networking sites. No, I don’t mean MySpace and I don’t mean chat rooms. I’ve discovered sites with a purpose.

You see, I started out frequenting message boards that focussed on my hobbies, including some shooting boards and well… let’s just say, I found most of them lacking. They were extremely shallow, narrow, one dimensional. And that bugged the hell out of me.

Then I discovered a couple of MOM sites – places for mothers to chat with each other, about the kids, men, life. I quickly discovered there that Internet life mirrors real life – there are some women I just can’t imagine being social with – under ANY circumstances.

However, there were some shining exceptions… Rocky and her stuff – with Muthahood and MFFO has been one of them…

As have Court and the gang over at MommyMatter.

I strongly recommend all of the above – not just for women, either!

However, every paradise has its snakes – As I branch out more, I discovering the dubious joys of having a cyber-stalker, oh what an experience that is. And I am also discovering how easy it is for people to weave webs of falsehoods – playing on the sympathies of others for their own sick pleasures.

Such is life, and I will not let a few bad apples spoil the barrel. But I choose instead to press on, hoping to be a little light in some way, hoping that my humble words can touch someone’s life – make them smile, make them think, something…

If I can do that, then all of the rest is just stuff and nonsense.

 

Anybody ever see The Birds? June 27, 2007

Filed under: Humor — wheresroxy @ 11:29 am
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I was 10 years old, an active kid with a vivid imagination and a penchant for old horror movies. I had just seen Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” for the first time, and it had scared the living crap out of me.

I was also a kid who had grown up pretty much in the suburbs. Aside from a brief period in rural Iowa, which I was mercifully too young to recall, I had always lived in borderline small urban areas – with a lot of moving around. I also spent a lot of time at my grandparent’s house – firmly in the suburbs of a quiet little town.

It was a life of contrast – poor, single Mom, moving around like a gypsy, the absolute definition of “bohemian” and the flip side of solid, extreme upper-middle class grandparents, in the same house forever and a day, and old-fashioned, Southern manners.

So it was, that summer, Mom decided to move us out to the country. The reasons don’t matter. The how, why, what for, etc questions don’t matter. What matters is this: the place we moved to was out in the sticks. I don’t mean, “sort of” out there. I mean it was 60 miles from anything of importance. The closest “town” was a solid three miles down the road, and it featured all of five buildings: a tiny school, a gas station/general store/post office, a small “market”, a hardware store and a feed store. The population of the “town” was all of 350 people – including us.

Our closest neighbor was over a mile away. There were no other houses within SIGHT of us. Oh, and let’s not forget, we were only a few miles north of the Mexican border, in an area so unpopulated and remote that it was frequented by human smugglers.

The property was “high desert” and had been empty for some time. The surrounding area was full of chaparral, that odd mix of tough shrubbery found in certain areas around Southern California, and the odd Live Oak tree as well as some Mesquite and more Sage and California Buckwheat than you can imagine. There was also a large field full of desert wildflowers. On the property were traces of an old horse coral, the long-empty shell of a burned out house, a brick barn-like structure and an old, aluminum side mobile home, circa 1955. A few odd trees, and remains of a clothesline as well as a partially filled in fire pit and a running, full spring complete the image. The property was in a basin at the top of a rise, so it felt even more isolated than it already was – the high sides and rock formations of the surrounding hills created the horizon, shutting out the rest of the area.

It was about as desolate looking a place as you can imagine. The “door” on the barn was a piece of plywood, hinged on one side and latched on the other with a simple hook and eye. The barn had been crudely converted to a house with walls of plywood. The mobile home housed two large beehives – one under the kitchen floor and the other midway down the hallway. The burned out house was a mystery – it stood, it’s outside barely marred, a dull, brick red. The windows, like eyes, were the evidence of the soul within – they were blackened, without glass and hollow. Inside, the house had been essentially gutted – the floor was still reasonably solid, and the support framing was intact, but the entire house had been blackened by some long ago blaze that had consumed the interior. The roof was a patchwork of beams – some good, some not.

Into this strange and distant place we drove, and my 10-year old self looked at the bleak property and the strange buildings and already I felt the tremors of fear. When the car rounded the last curve of the drive, the sight that greeted me was not something I will ever forget.

All around the property, sitting on the power poles, the remains of the fence, in the trees and all over the rooftops were big, black birds – crows. Later I came to understand why they were there – the remains of the crops grown there before us were ample feeding grounds for them, as were the rather abundant small rodents. But at that moment, no logical explanation sprang to mind. All I could see were dozens, it seemed perhaps hundreds, of these big black birds… and all I could think of at that moment was the movie I had just watched. And I was afraid to get out of the car.

Obviously, the property was not inhabited by a huge flock of killer birds from the imagination of Alfred Hitchcock. Nor was the place as creepy or desolate as it initially seemed. As in all of life, there was good and bad to be found and the stories and experiences there make up much of my life.

Today, that area has been built up, there is a casino nearby and the little town has a few more buildings. The property still exists, the burned out house replaced by a new structure, the barn fully converted to a home and the trailer is gone, replaced with something more modern, more permanent.
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Sometimes, when I’m out in that area, I drive by just to see the old place, and each time, I look back at events past – sometimes funny, sometimes sad – but these are the stories that make me who I am. Perhaps, someday, I’ll share more of them.

 

Just stress – that’s all it is… June 27, 2007

Filed under: Life, Musings on Sanity, My Crazy Mind, Personal, Rant — wheresroxy @ 10:11 am
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It’s Wednesday and my head is swimming with just way too much info. I’m seriously in need of a giant filing cabinet for my brain, dammit!

Amidst my usual insanity at work – I’ve taken on some new projects – some I love, some I don’t, dumped some that I hated, dumped others I actually enjoyed and dealt with some typical office politics crap (sometimes, being the office “girl” sucks – no matter how cool the guys in the office are… they’re still GUYS and you’re still NOT.)

The kids are off on summer break, which means a messier house, schedule all over the place and tons of activities that they WANT to attend as well as the already echoing cries of boredom.

The ex still, still, still has not signed papers, and is pulling more of his typical BS. He’s not supposed to be scheduling kid things for MY time, but of course, he’s not actually scheduling the events – he’s just encouraging the kids to attend them, then telling me about them the DAY BEFORE they happen.

The BF is getting more and more frustrated with the ex, and I don’t blame him. Especially when the kids come over, and the first day with us is Attitude Central.

I’m trying to put together a series of form letters for Rocky to use for the MFFO site – and the more I look at the crap happening in Darfur, the more infuriated I become, the more tangled my brain and the harder it is to form a cogent thought. I now understand why so many form letters to elected officials are so crappy. It’s hard to get through the passion and write politics.

Meanwhile, I seem to have an Internet stalker or two. Aren’t I just thrilled? Yeah. Right. Get a life, folks! Fortunately, it’s more annoying than dangerous, and ignoring the problem seems to be leading them to boredom. Yes, I really AM that boring!

And our little home in So Cal is attractive to friends and family from hotter climes. Thus, we frequently have guests. Not that I mind. I really don’t. In fact, I enjoy it. But it does make household life a little more hectic – especially when we have the kids.

The bottom line? I really need a vacation. But that isn’t going to happen this year. This year’s vacation was a trip to Duluth to visit Mom during surgery. Fortunately, that went well – but a week of cooking, cleaning and convalescent caring – as rewarding as it is, as much as I would not have traded that trip for anything in the world, does NOT a vacation make, especially when it’s icky Spring in Duluth, Minn.

Our recent mini trips have been so full of work-related stuff and shooting that even they haven’t felt like “time off”.

Oh yeah, and I’m on the tail end of that most lovely of things, the Summer Cold.

I’m sure I’m missing something… In fact, I’m positive I’m missing something. It is just not possible that my poor little over-worked brain managed to catalog everything on the first try. But who cares? Not me.

Somebody please sign me up for a week in some place that features nice, comfy beds, warm water, cool breezes and NO cell phones, computers, television or radio. I want to totally disconnect for a few days. NOW, dammit!

OK – rant over.

 

Substances best left unknown to mankind… June 11, 2007

Filed under: Humor — wheresroxy @ 2:53 pm
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There are certain things that men just don’t seem to deal well with – and other times they just excel. Dealing with icky substances is not a male strong suit, I guess…

Our dog, Daisy, she of the Christmas-tree-ball-munching-Boxer-from-Hell fame, decided to have a massive upset over some new food – and so overnight turned the entire lower portion of my house into a rather nasty area full of stuff that shall remain nameless. She was immediately confined to the laundry room, which she also decorated with said nameless substances. Loverly. My house never smelled so charming.

Just as I was beginning to wonder when the madness would end, and if it didn’t end soon it was going to be vet time, her skin erupted into a mass of gigantic lumps, each about as big around as a half dollar, and a good 1/2 inch high. It was vet time, no doubt. My usual vet was in surgery, and since we didn’t think she should wait until the next morning (not while still “decorating” any space she occupied and having more of the mysterious bumps appear before our astounded and disgusted eyes) we took her to the alternate vet.

No animal is as capable of looking sorry for itself, pitiful, and apologetic all at the same time, as a Boxer. That poor dog was a pretty sorry sight when the BF hauled her off to the vet’s. Meanwhile, I got the fun of cleaning up the mess. My manly BF has a rather sensitive tummy in some cases – certain things are likely to set him to adding to the mess, and so rather than having to clean up after both man and beast, I opted to clean up after the beast only and let him do the vet duties.

And so, armed with paper towels, cleaning solutions, rubber gloves, and all of the other trappings of a massive cleaning spree, I opened every window and door, lit some scented candles and incense and got to work. I had gotten all of the major ickiness cleaned up and was ready to start in on the carpet cleaning process when I discovered that my carpet cleaner was in a semi-functional mode. As in, each time I tried to fill the water tank and then put it in place to begin cleaning, the water tank took that as the cue to spew its entire contents all over the floor – thus making the floor where I was standing a soppy mess, and rendering me incapable of steam cleaning the rest of the floor. I continued wrestling with the darn thing, figuring it was just that I had put it together incorrectly.

By the time I finally got it together with no leaking, I realized it wasn’t a matter of skill but one of luck as the gaskets were worn, I was understandably frustrated and my kitchen floor was now a swamp. Why I didn’t think to just undertake this process on the parts of the carpet that needed cleaning, I don’t know.

Meanwhile, BF comes home with the now perky dog. After much worry over the recent dog food recalls, and the similarity in symptoms – oh, and a $500 vet bill – we discover that she had an allergic reaction to something in the freaking dog food. That was it. All of this mess was thanks to allergies.

By now, I have successfully soaked the entire lower floors, because though my cleaner is now holding its water and spewing forth solution only when asked, it is not being obedient and picking up said solution. I decide that obviously, the cleaner is busted. BF, being the wonderful man he is, which means: MAN MUST FIX PROBLEM – decides to take it all apart and see what the problem might be. And of course, I explain it all, but the water spewing doesn’t happen to him. All this time, he’s trying to tell me that it’s the way I’m putting the silly thing together. Needless to say, I reached the point where I handed him the cleaner and said, “Fine, then YOU clean the carpets.” So, on the machine goes but the darn thing won’t pick up again. So he disassembles again and attempts another refilling of the water tank, this time to be greeted by the spewing action that had soaked my kitchen floor earlier. He, of course, had the sense to be doing this outside.

And so off we traipse to the local Wal-Mart to find a new carpet cleaner, since the great and mighty man of the house has decided that perhaps it wasn’t me after all, but the cleaner was, in fact, busted. I spend perhaps half of the trip grumbling because I hate it when a man (any man – and especially my BF who is otherwise not a Neanderthal) treats me like I don’t know what I’m talking about. We spend the remainder of the trip with him laughing at me for being such a silly goose and then apologizing for hurting my feelings.

Back home, new cleaner purchased and dog no longer making new deposits, the entire carpeted area of the house is treated to a full sudsy scrub, and suddenly my carpet not only looks better, but the smell in my house is much nicer as well. Ah, I can breathe!
And so, after all is said and done, I have yet another thing to add to my dog’s list of allergies, a very clean house (and I mean – CLEAN), a very apologetic BF (he hates it when I get mad at him, I do it so rarely), a pile of laundry that didn’t get folded because we were instead taking the dog to the vet and cleaning the house and a brand new carpet cleaner.

 

Hatred – the new family value? June 8, 2007

Filed under: Politics — wheresroxy @ 9:12 am
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When did hatred become acceptable? When did teaching our children to hate someone based on some difference – real or perceived – become “family values” and our “moral responsibility”?

For the most part, we don’t accept racial hatred; we condemn as racist those who make slurs of any sort. We don’t accept discrimination, favoritism, or any form of bigotry. We teach a message of love and peace and acceptance.

That is, until the subject of sexuality comes up. Suddenly, it’s an abomination. It’s terrible. These people are sick. These people are corrupting our youth. These people are disgusting. These people shouldn’t be allowed to marry, or have children, or adopt, or have rights as domestic partners, or…

And so, children learn to hate. Not because Mommy and Daddy use the word “hate” directly in relation to “those” people, but because children are smarter than we think, and they pick up the subtleties that adults think go over their little heads.

And so, our children learn it’s “OK” to call someone a “fag”, or to say, “that’s so gay” or to call someone “queer” or “homo” and to mean it all as an insult. And we ignore that. We blow it off. We make light of it.

Would we do the same if our children were saying things like: “that’s so black” or calling someone a racial epithet (sorry, I can’t even bring myself to type them)? No, we would teach them it’s wrong, it’s hateful, it’s not acceptable – we don’t use those words, we don’t say those things.

But it’s OK when it’s about homosexuality. Because… Well… Because those people are sick. Those people are corrupting our youth. Those people are an abomination. Those people are sinning against our God (and our God is right – theirs is not.) So it’s OK to insult them. It’s OK to use derogatory terms referring to their sexuality. It’s OK.

And how large of a step is it from name calling to pushing and shoving? Anyone who has ever been in junior or senior high school knows, it’s not a big leap at all.

How large of a step is it from pushing and shoving to fists?

My daughter recently discovered the song “People Are People” by Depeche Mode. She liked the message in it. Her Dad banned it from his home because it’s “about accepting homosexuality”. I asked her what she thought it was about, and she said, “It’s about not being stupid, not hating people because they are different from you.” I congratulated my kid on being a smart cookie, told her it was likely written about the struggles of being hated because of homosexuality, and that I saw no problem with the song, in fact, I like it. Her final decision? “It’s a song about being accepting, and not being stupid. What difference does it make what inspired it?” Sometimes – I really think kids have it right and we adults need to listen up.

So, for those who have asked: How many people have died because of teaching that homosexuality is wrong?

Well, I don’t have those numbers – but I personally know a few who have died because of some idiot who had been taught that being gay was a sin. Violence is wrong, assault and murder are crimes and at least one of them is also a sin. And the hatred necessary to fuel the violence starts somewhere. It starts with dehumanizing the person, with allowing hatred to creep in.

And with that – I will leave you with the lyrics to that song my kid liked so much:

People Are People – Depeche Mode (copied from Lyrics Freak)

People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully

So we’re different colors
And were different creeds
And different people
Have different needs
It’s obvious you hate me
Though I’ve done nothing wrong
I’ve never even met you
So what could I have done
I can’t understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
Help me understand
Help me understand

Now you’re punching
And you’re kicking
And you’re shouting at me
And I’m relying on your common decency
So far it hasn’t surfaced
But I’m sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fist (head to your fists)

I can’t understand what makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand
People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully

I can’t understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand
I can’t understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand
I can’t understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
I can’t understand (people are people)
What makes a man (why should it be)
Hate another man
Help me understand…