The Gunchick on the air… November 30, 2007

Some of you may know I’m working out details to do a monthly radio show in conjunction with MommyMatter and their mommy talk radio programs – more details on that later… Stand by… Suffice to say, there’s a great line up in the works, and the Gunchick show should be kicking off soon, followed by shows on the first Friday of every month.

As I’m gearing up for that, I’m working on some terrific guests, including fellow moms (and some dads) who happen to be gun owners, and also work in the firearm industry.

My entire goal here is not a debate about gun control – I’m not talking politics. I’m talking reality. Real parents, dealing with the real issue of firearms in homes with kids. Recognizing that firearms are a reality in many homes, it’s important to be informed with facts, not hype, propaganda, hysteria and scare tactics. Children’s safety comes first, as well as a look at women who love to play with guns, and some women in the field. Also, chats with some guys who have some terrific info to share and equally charming personalities.

If you are a gun owner, you have the issue of teaching your own children, keeping the firearms out of their hands, etc. And you have to deal with visiting children who may or may not have been taught about those very same things.

If you are not a gun owner, how do you teach your children about gun safety? How do you make sure the homes your children visit are safe?

I am not encouraging paranoia, but instead I’m focusing on honest talk about teaching kids to be street smart without making them, or you, paranoid. With emphasis on teaching kids about firearms they may find – especially in the homes of others. Also, how to talk to other parents about firearms in their homes. What you need to ask, how to ask it and what to do about the answers you get.

With all that said, I’m fishing – fishing for what other parents want to know, what they’d like to learn, or hear about… If you don’t feel comfortable posting it as an open comment, please feel free to e-mail me.

All opinions welcome….

Thanks much!

Roxy

Daisy T.C.T.B.M.B.F.H. stars in – Master’s Shadow November 30, 2007

We recently attended a wedding out in the middle of the desert. And yes, I mean out in the middle – it was six miles off the paved road, okay? The dog was invited.

Yes, that would be Daisy, The Christmas Tree Ball Munching Boxer From Hell.

Supposedly, the Dog is “mine” – as in, she came with me. As in, I’m the one who did all the house breaking, leash training, puppy Kindergarten, etc.

Then, she met HIM, the BF and as far as she was concerned, I could go fly a kite, so long as I left HER with HIM.

Is this a gaze of doggy devotion or what? (I do have to say – I understand that look… I think I have it too sometimes!)

Note – the “training collar” is because she was going to be around other dogs, in an unfamiliar environment, where pulling, tugging and other “disruptive” doggy behavior are not good things. Also because we were out in the middle of the desert and this little suburban doggy has never been up close and personal with the variety of flora and fauna out there…

There once was a man from Nantucket… November 30, 2007

And if you think I’m going to finish that dirty little ditty, think again!

However, I did just have to explain it to my kid – The Boy. He had heard part of it somewhere, and had somehow pestered someone enough to get them to repeat the entire thing to him, and then asked his trusty Mom what it all meant.

Now, let’s recall that I am the one whose Granny could make a sailor blush with shame and cause truckers to cover their ears and run for the confessional. I am not a wilting flower, nor do I have some strange idea that my children will never hear dirty jokes or other “adult” stuff until they actually reach adulthood. So, yep, I actually repeated the damn thing to him (correctly, since there were some errors in the otherwise “traditional” pattern of the piece, someone had attempted to make an already raunchy limerick even raunchier and had screwed up the rhythm, dammit) and explained it as best I could.

Yeah.

This was also how I discovered my kids know other (and less raunchy) limericks like the one about the girl from Madras, she who had the magnificent ass, as well as one I’d never heard before, something about a girl using a stick of dynamite in a most unnatural way and winding up blowing herself to bits (including her ass landing in Madras, is that just an irresistible rhyme, or something?)

I realize juvenile humor is what it is – juvenile. And I also realize this is the time period when kids graduate from the “grosser than gross” version of humor and move into more “sophisticated” subjects, like body parts, crude (and rude) sexuality and other “body” and bawdy humor. It’s normal.

Ah, parenting…

Yeah, I know – bad Mom! No parent in their right mind would actually repeat that nasty thing to their kid! And worse still, explain what it meant! Shock! For shame! Naughty me!

Yeah, well, I was also the one who sang “Oh Little Toad” with them when they were younger… and other “fun” and gross tunes. I did admonish The Boy (and The Girl, but she’s a bit wiser than he) to NEVER, ever, ever repeat those in front of an adult, and all the other typical parental warnings. Fortunately, both kids seem to have a solid grasp of when it’s “OK” and when it’s not.

Now excuse me whilst I go Clorox my brain – I have to get these things out of my head before I start recalling even worse ones!

Mysterious Events… November 29, 2007

Can you identify this item?

For some, it’s going to be a snap; others may think this is some strange relic, or perhaps even a hoax, not a real thing at all, sort of like Bigfoot.

Make no mistake, it’s very real and it’s very scary. Sometimes, it’s even infuriating.

I found this specimen in my very own home! Imagine that! Something this disgusting, this frightening, this horrific lurking just down the hall from where my children and I sleep!

It caught me unawares as I sat peacefully in my home, then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it and I screamed. Fortunately, I keep the bane of this oh-so-unpleasant beast always at hand and I was quickly able to tame the thing.

By now, I’m sure some of you are laughing, or perhaps simply shaking your head at my attempt at humor. Others are scouring that picture looking for a tiny spider, a speck of mouse poop, or some other sign of an unwelcome visitor.

I’m telling you, this beast is a common and frightening thing, and it never fails to make me want to hunt down the perpetrator and sentence them to a month of scrubbing toilets with an old toothbrush.

Yep, it’s the empty toilet paper roll. Grrrrr…

Lunchtime Surfing – Oldtime ads November 28, 2007

First – the link…

Found while surfing on lunchbreak. Hysterically outdated and politically incorrect ads.

But, a couple warranted additional comment from Yours Truly:

Ummmm – see that ring on her left hand? The one with the little balls on it? Yeah. That one. I grew up seeing my mother wear one of those. Made me laugh.

Is this an ad, a promotional piece for practitioners of Domestic Discipline (ugh!) or some kinky sex thing (ummm… not going there… I’m just not…)