A barbaric YAWP across the Web

Random musings of a sometimes political, sometimes mundane mind.

Farewell to a legend… Paul Newman September 27, 2008

Filed under: Just Life — wheresroxy @ 7:55 am
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I’m not the type to rehash what the news has already said…

Today, Hollywood – and the world – have bid goodbye to screen legend Paul Newman.

Paul Newman

I’m not normally a star watcher, gossip column reader, or any of that… But I will admit a certain level of respect for the man who gave so much to things that mattered to him, who celebrated a long, and seemingly tabloid-fodder free marriage, and who dammit, was a good looking man and a damn fine actor.

Paul Newman

The man had class – something terribly lacking in many of the current lot.

 

The icky files: my broken arm September 25, 2008

Filed under: Just Life — wheresroxy @ 7:35 pm
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And now for something icky…

If you are not into icky, have a weak stomach, don’t want to think about things like broken bones, and stitches/staples, and the icky stuff that goes along with that… now would be a good time to find out how to read a fashion magazine… or join me in my overwhelming hatred of crickets… or research the dangers of going to bed with wet hair… or just read what has, for some bizarre reason, become my most popular post.

Okay, you have been duly warned.

The ickiness shall now commence!

On the 30th of August, I broke my arm. If you want the unicky version – go read that post.

After the charming ER visit…

Hmmm...doesn't look too bad...

Huh, doesn't look that bad...

And waiting to find a doc to see me… and spending a week with a un-set broken bone waiting for surgery… the bruising and swelling were, ah well… something to behold.

All wrapped up, and...

All wrapped up, and...

As my hand swelled up to roughly the size of a canned ham, and my office wondered why I couldn’t keep up with my normal pace of work, and the Percocets I was on made me A) Groggy as hell, B) Foggy as hell, and perhaps more importantly, C) Unable to drive legally in any state, but especially in the state of Arizona.

Ooo...lookit the colors!

Ooo...lookit the colors!

Aren’t those bruises just purty? I couldn’t get decent pics since I couldn’t manage my regular camera, so these are all cell shots…. LOL

As the swelling went down thanks to near constant icing, the next charming stage started. Do you know what happens to your skin after it’s all swollen and icky? Yeah, it shrivels, and it peels. There is this nasty layer of dry, dead stuff – that since my arm was still not “set” I could do nothing about. I could just sit there in my Percocet induced I-don’t-give-a-shit state and think, “ewwwwww, I need a manicure!”

Oh… My normally nicely manicured hands, the ones with nails that wear evenly, and polish that is equally chipped on both hands? Yeah. Well, on the right, surrounded by icky, peely skin, were five salon-perfect nails. On the left are these things that really need a paint job. But I can’t do it me ownself, and I sure as hell ain’t payin’ for half a mani.

Somebody polish me!

Somebody polish me!

OK… So, the day of surgery arrives, and all goes well… sort of… except a 30 minute surgery turned into a two hour and thirty minute surgery requiring more metal than planned… Oh… And I freaked coming out of the anesthetic… Apparently soundly cussed everyone present, and some who weren’t present, and managed to ah, well, place my foot not so gently into the groin of the poor anesthesiologist. I felt so guilty.

And the Percocet induced what-the-huh? continued… and I really have no pics of that time period. I was too foggy.

But still, thanks to all the bandages, I could not wash my right hand.

Can you imagine not washing your hand for weeks? It’s a nasty feeling. I’m serious. And it’s stinky. Plus, after surgery, I had all that iodine crap. I tried, really tried to scrub that stuff off, but it was stubborn.

The day finally came to get my wrappings off… knowing I’d still have a brace, but should be able to at least wash was exciting.

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

Off came the wrappings and I was faced with a monster incision, larger than I expected, that started below my thumb and traced down my wrist. It looked like I had attempted something not so nice. It also had 14 staples in it.

The skin on my arm and hand was withered and wrinkled. Partly from the swelling, and partly from being wrapped so long. And it looked old!

Staples removed, and Steri-Strips in place, since the incision was still a bit open in spots… I got sent home to more pain pills, more immobilization and, drum roll please, the ability to wash my hand after the strips had set for 24 hours!

The first shower in over 2 weeks when I did not have a plastic bag taped over my hand!

As I soaped up, the dead skin came sloughing off… and there was the “ewww…that’s nasty!” combined with “oh, that feels soooooo good!” I finally scraped the “KS” off my hand – my surgeon had penned his initials on the correct hand prior to surgery. And finally got every last trace of anything iky, sticky or nasty off my hand… well, except the Steri-Strips that were holding together the edges of one very long and very icky looking scar to be.

Ouch!

Ouch!

So, now I sit looking at a hand that is still swollen… skin that looks about 30 years older than it actually is (and I’m seriously hoping that goes away!)… a rather nasty scar to be… and a hand that is still incredibly stiff, cumbersome and basically useless (oh the physical therapy will come)…

And all I can think is how good it felt to actually be able to scrub the gunk off that hand… and how wonderful the lotion felt after the shower… you see, I already have dry skin, and I live in Arid-zona, which means, lotion is a multiple-times-a-day thing, all over… But my poor right hand had been lotion free for over two weeks… It was thirsty!

Xray pics to be posted as soon as I have them…. tee hee

There, that wasn’t so icky, now was it?

 

Word of the Day: Cockalorum September 18, 2008

Filed under: My Crazy Mind — wheresroxy @ 8:00 am
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Now, how can you not giggle, just a bit, when, working on your first cup of coffee, you sit down to read email, and that is the subject line of the very first message in your inbox?

Yeah, I know. You can’t.

Usually, the Words of the Day are either things I already know, or they’re such bizarre and obscure words (many of which I already know) as to be completely useless to any semi-normal writer. Wait, that implies there are semi-normal writers. Hmmm… Nevermind. Scratch that! Ain’t no such critter.

Anyway, there sat this little gem: cockalorum.

For those of you who are wondering what, exactly, a cockalorum is, rest assured, it’s nothing dirty. Despite the potential for adolescent humor, it’s not some strange sex act, a rare and exotic disease of the penis, or a mythical talking phallus.

Nope, far more mundane than any of those. Are you ready? You want to know, I can tell. You’re waiting for this.

cockalorum \kah-kuh-LOR-um\ (noun) – 1 : A boastful and self-important person; 2 : boastful talk

“Now, did he survive, and succeed, he’d be puffed full of relief and joy, and breakfast would be a nigh-hysterically blissful explosion of high-cockalorum.” — Dewey Lambdin, ‘Havoc’s Sword’

From the obsolete Flemish word “kockeloeren,” meaning “to crow.” It dates back to 1715 when it was used to describe the Marquis of Huntly-son of the Duke of Gordon, a Celtic Highlander chief who was himself known as the “Cock of the North.” The image of a rooster (a.k.a. cock) strutting confidently across the barnyard has given us “crow” (“to brag”), “cock” (“a self-important person”), and “cocky” (“overconfident”).

OK, stop the giggles and titters. You’ve all heard terms like “cock of the walk” and heard a “cock and bull” story or two I’m sure. It’s just that our ah, modern sensibilities have come to associate the word “cock” not with a rooster or boastful person, but with a certain body part, about which many men are, in fact likely to boast. Hmmmm, I wonder if that…

ahem

Sorry, I digress.

So, extract your mind from the gutter, or sewer if it has slipped that far.

The part that I’m having fun with is this:

The idea of a Word of the Day is to expand the vocabulary, presumably, the useful vocabulary. However, I cannot, for the life of me, imagine working this charming little word into the vernacular.

“Yeah, ignore him. He’s just full of cockalorum after he took first place in that last match.”

“He’s a real cockalorum, alright. Thinks he’s all that.”

ummm… How about… no!

 

What to do with an olive tree September 17, 2008

Filed under: Just Life, Rant — wheresroxy @ 8:43 am
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When first moving into this house, I knew there was an olive tree in the corner of the back yard. Aside from the obvious mess I knew it would cause, and worrying about a certain canine tracking mooshed olive goo in on her feet, I didn’t give it another thought. Not really, anyway…

Then, said canine came in munching and chomping and terribly enjoying some small, roundish thing that when plucked from her mouth smelled distinctly of olive. Ugh! A quick Internet search proved olives were not in fact dangerous to doggies, and worries of her tracking in goo vanished as I realized she’d happily clean any goo off her feet…But, what to do with this tree full of olives?

The whithered remains of last year's crop should have been a clue!

The whithered remains of last year

Olives, it seems, cannot simply be enjoyed off the tree. Nope not even the ripe ones. They’re nasty, bitter creatures that require curing before they’re even vaguely edible (oh, and when discussing the opposite of edible, I much prefer inedible, as opposed to uneatable…is that even a word?)

Since I’m not known for having a wealth of free time, and I just cannot see myself engaging in any of these various curing methods (ummm…lye??), visions of home-cured olives have quickly given way to visions of chopping down said tree and replacing it with something less messy…

Like bougainvillea, or jacaranda…either of which would be less mess than this mushy, black-fruit dropping thing.

Why olive? If you’re gonna have a tree that drops crap, why not…ohhhh….mulberry? At least they produce straight-off-the-tree edible fruit!

Pardon me, I’m about to go searching for a deal on chainsaws…and whether or not olive wood is good to burn in your fireplace. Firewood, I know how to cure!

Yummy? Not yet!

Yummy? Not yet!

 

The mirage that is life…. September 14, 2008

Filed under: Personal — wheresroxy @ 9:37 am
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Topsy, turvy…

Crazy without calm…

Upside down and twisted around…

Thus has life become…

Surgery happened – the bone was worse than expected and required more work than planned. I find out more Tuesday.

Coming off of two weeks solid of pain meds is no flipping picnic – in fact, it bites.

So many things in life are just AFU at the moment, and it’s hard to tell what ties in to what… Meanwhile, I’m living in a state of ballancing between euphoria and just wanting to pull the blankets up over my head and wish the world to go away and wake me when it’s all over…

There are new hopes, new dreams on the horizon – so far out they shimmer tauntingly like a mirage. And I wonder, do I steer toward these glimmering things, risking all or turn away before I find myself dashed on  the rocks they so cleverly hid?