A barbaric YAWP across the Web

Random musings of a sometimes political, sometimes mundane mind.

Where’s my other shoe? November 22, 2008

Filed under: Life — wheresroxy @ 7:34 am
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I’m the kind of person whose shoes live in the closet, sitting neatly in pairs, resting quietly on the shelves until Yours Truly is ready to wear them.

That habit comes from painful experiences – the “where the hell did I leave my…” search being one. The other being what a four-legged, furry critter can do to an innocent and unsuspecting shoe that distinctly feels like a chew toy.

Yeah, I admit I am often guilty of taking my shoes off in the car, and then leaving them there. But at least then I know where they are and they aren’t going to become unauthorized chew toys.

The exception to the shoes-in-the-closet rule is my flip flops. I wear them to kick around the yard. I throw them on to go to the mailbox. If I’m in a hurry, I might even wear them to the store to pick up that last minute item I need. They usually sit in the corner, under the bar area, on top of which you will find my keys and sunglasses.

But then there is that furry, four-legged critter.

Who usually doesn’t chew my shoes up anymore.

But she has been known to drag them around to strange places.

So, not finding my faithful, comfy (and ugly) flip flops in their usual spot, I began the rounds.

I found one:

So um... where is the other one?

So um... where is the other one?

The other, however, was no where to be found.

Knowing Meathead the way I do, I decided to go look outside, and was greeted by this:

Great... cotton carnage...

Great... cotton carnage...

No it didn’t suddenly snow in The Valley. That’s stuffing and it was all over the yard.

It didn’t take long to figure out that between the sun and the dog, the cover of the chaise had given way and the dog had discovered that inside that cushy cover was all this white fluffy stuff.

And oh, that white fluffy stuff must have been fun to play with because bits and pieces of it were all over.

ummm... Meathead...?

ummm... Meathead...?

Now, would someone kindly explain why my wrist brace is in the middle of all this?

 

The dog who thinks she’s a cat… November 11, 2008

Filed under: Humor — wheresroxy @ 12:17 pm
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AKA – tales of a spoiled doggy

And you wonder why she's called "Meathead"?

And you wonder why she's called "Meathead"?

Apparently, damn dog decided that since she is allowed on some furniture (this explains why I own leather), she should be allowed on the furniture in whatever manner she so chooses.

I’m used to cats laying on the back of a couch… but a dog? A 50 pound dog?

C’mon! give me a break here!

 

So, ah… make your bed next time! November 4, 2008

Filed under: Just Life — wheresroxy @ 11:49 am
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Nah, she's not spoiled!

Nah, she's not spoiled!

So um… this is what happens when I don’t bother to make my bed in the morning…

’nuff said!

 

What to do with an olive tree September 17, 2008

Filed under: Just Life, Rant — wheresroxy @ 8:43 am
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When first moving into this house, I knew there was an olive tree in the corner of the back yard. Aside from the obvious mess I knew it would cause, and worrying about a certain canine tracking mooshed olive goo in on her feet, I didn’t give it another thought. Not really, anyway…

Then, said canine came in munching and chomping and terribly enjoying some small, roundish thing that when plucked from her mouth smelled distinctly of olive. Ugh! A quick Internet search proved olives were not in fact dangerous to doggies, and worries of her tracking in goo vanished as I realized she’d happily clean any goo off her feet…But, what to do with this tree full of olives?

The whithered remains of last year's crop should have been a clue!

The whithered remains of last year

Olives, it seems, cannot simply be enjoyed off the tree. Nope not even the ripe ones. They’re nasty, bitter creatures that require curing before they’re even vaguely edible (oh, and when discussing the opposite of edible, I much prefer inedible, as opposed to uneatable…is that even a word?)

Since I’m not known for having a wealth of free time, and I just cannot see myself engaging in any of these various curing methods (ummm…lye??), visions of home-cured olives have quickly given way to visions of chopping down said tree and replacing it with something less messy…

Like bougainvillea, or jacaranda…either of which would be less mess than this mushy, black-fruit dropping thing.

Why olive? If you’re gonna have a tree that drops crap, why not…ohhhh….mulberry? At least they produce straight-off-the-tree edible fruit!

Pardon me, I’m about to go searching for a deal on chainsaws…and whether or not olive wood is good to burn in your fireplace. Firewood, I know how to cure!

Yummy? Not yet!

Yummy? Not yet!

 

The things I do for pictures! December 19, 2007

Filed under: Humor, It's a gunchick thang..., Just Life, Life, Random — wheresroxy @ 10:03 am
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Though I’m not the world’s greatest photographer (far from it!) part of my job often involves taking pictures of events I’m at. One thing I’ve learned is the best shots are those that are a little, well… unusual. For the purposes of my job, it’s all about the angle – and I’ve gotten into some strange positions in order to get the shot I want.

Shooters were to slide down the fireman’s pole to retrieve their gun and begin shooting. In order to get decent shots, I was literally crammed in a corner underneath the pole (out of their way, of course) and carefully leaning in and aiming the camera to shoot up the pole as the shooter came down.
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Oh yeah – consider the above absolute proof positive that The BF has no butt.

The results? Decent shots, as you can see.
And my entire lower half covered in dust from sitting on the ground as well as the constant onslaught of dust kicked up by the landings.

I’m trying to improve my skills as a photographer, and the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. I’m also still trying to re-learn my way around all the f-stop and shutter speed fun. So, I’m doing a lot of playing with my camera. Taking odd pictures, crawling up on things, shooting from different angles, using different settings, etc. It’s fun and some of the results have been worth the effort.

My dog, on the other hand, simply thinks I’m truly weird, and she wants to know what this strange new growth is…

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