Pepper Spray - it ain’t just a seasoning…

As my kids have gotten older, and as I have learned to be less and less the over-protective parent and let them experience life, I have had to learn to let go, slowly, yes, but let go all the same. But I’m not an ostrich, I’m a concerned parent in the modern world facing the realities of safety.

I’m facing the facts that I have a teen who now wants to start riding the bus system so she can get around and meet her friends at the mall without having to worry about whether or not Mom can drive her there. Great. I like that idea. Heck, there’s even a bus that runs from just down the street to the very doors of the mall.

Then the parent in me has a heart attack. I gasp at the idea of sending my 13 year old onto a bus alone. I know I’ve taught her how to navigate public transit and she’s only going between home and the mall, and it’s during daylight hours, and … and … and …

I shudder to think that by her age, I was navigating the bus from our little rural community, into town, meeting my friends there then continuing on public transit to the beaches and not getting home till after dark. It was a different time. It wasn’t a different place. This is the same city, the same area I was in. In fact, my daughter will be going to the same mall where I would meet my friends to transfer to the next bus.

I have thought long and hard about this. I know she’s ready for this. She’s a responsible and smart kid. She knows how to stay within the limits I set for her and she’s going to be fine. Heck, at 13, she’s only a few short years away from driving. Oh yipe. So, all that is left for me to do, is get her a bus pass and a cell phone and let her go. Right?

Yeah, right. So I thought at the beginning of summer. I also thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get her a brief course on how not to be a victim. The NRA offers such courses, and they’re not about carrying a gun. And let’s see, I thought, what else? Oh yeah. A really loud whistle and maybe a thing of pepper spray.

Now, I think every person on earth has a right to defend themselves from criminal activity, especially against personal assault of any kind. I don’t care if the person in question wants to play dumb and hide, pretending they will never be a victim, or if they prefer to legally carry a firearm. That’s their right and their choice.

Now, I figured pepper spray would be an ideal thing for a reasonably mature and responsible teen to have. But first, I wanted to know the law. After slogging my way through an unbelievably complex, messy and ridiculously difficult pile of information on my state’s Web site, and finally actually having to call an attorney to find out the whole truth, I discovered some disconcerting facts.

It is not legal for a kid under 18 to carry pepper spray. Period. I don’t mean Mace, I mean Pepper Spray.

So, let me get this straight. This state will allow my teen to work as young as age 14, she can drive at 16, and be working some pretty late night hours during the summer, but she cannot carry even a small can of pepper spray?

Nope. After all was said and done, I found it was a misdemeanor for her to even be in possession of it and could be considered a felony should she actually use it, even if it was in defense of her life.

So much for that terrific idea. I’m not suggesting kids be allowed to carry spray into schools, or anything like that, but good grief, it seems you can’t turn on the news or read a paper anymore without hearing about some kid being abducted, and worse.

So, for now, the bus riding idea has been shelved. I’m just not ready for that. But I’m wondering what I’m going to do as time goes on, and she starts spending more time away from home, working, driving, etc? I can take her to all the classes available, I can make sure she has a cell phone, I can cross my fingers and pray, knowing that she’s sensible kid – but I cannot give my baby any thing else.

What are you doing?

I’m stealing this from a dear friend (the hostess of the show):

“Tomorrow Sept. 26 at 3 pm eastern?!?! You will be sitting in front of your computer litstening to me at: www.blogtalkradio.com/mommymatter

I will be sitting down and talking with Noam Freedman, proprietor of Firestore in New York City. Noam works with charities and first responders to spread word of the after affects of September 11. Firestore and more information can be found at http://www.nyfirestore.com/still-killing.html “

Seriously, y’all - as crazy as the show was with me (it was just a gab fest! Exactly what it was supposed to be!) this one should be a serious look at the issues surrounding post-9/11 for those who were there at Ground Zero.

My hat is still off to those men and women, and you’d better believe I’m gonna be listening in to this one!

Show some love people!

If you can’t catch it live, save the link and listen in on the archive later.

Bikini Baristas?

I’m not uptight. Really. I’m not. Hell, I work with a bunch of men, I’ve almost always worked with more men than women and I tend have a fairly tolerant attitude toward certain aspects that come along with that Y chromosome. I didn’t say I liked or understood those aspects, just that I realize they are there and can turn a blind eye to many of them.

Then along came the headline about "Bikini Baristas" - what the…? I zipped through that slide show quickly, mouth slightly agape and head spinning… I had to find out if this was an isolated event, or a trend. Sure enough, it’s a trend. Coffee bars across the country are luring in customers (I assume of the male variety?) by having their baristas wear bikini tops.

Now, I’m sure many men will disagree - but I really don’t want my morning java served up with a side of flesh, thanks. I’m not a prude and I do believe to a certain extent the "if you’ve got it flaunt it" mentality… But this is not something I want to see. I get my coffee in the early morning, the last thing I want at that hour is the sight of a cute little skinny "Miss Thang" in a bikini top leaning out the window to hand me my Venti  Low Fat Sugar Free Vanilla, extra hot and extra shot.

And of course, the whole thing brings up other questions. Will the coffee bars employing this tactic hire less svelte women who would not (and should not) wear bikini tops, or is being in shape to wear a bikini a condition of employment?

Do they also hire men? If not, well, isn’t that discrimination? And if so, what do the guys wear? I certainly hope we aren’t about to be "treated" to naked pecs with our morning Joe. That would be a bit much, never mind the potential health issues there.

Will they hire less attractive people? Will they hire those who have startlingly pale skin? Oh, and what of girls who aren’t yet 18? What if the young lady’s parents object to the work attire?

In reality, we all know that looks do impact your ability to get a job, but this opens up a whole new world of hiring for looks. But, I guess most strip joints aren’t going to hire fat or ugly dancers, now are they?

Whoa! Did I just compare bikini wearing baristas to a strip club? Yep. I did. And I stand by it. The idea is the same - use the attraction of naked (or nearly naked) flesh to draw in customers. How long before these Bikini Baristas are putting on wet t-shirt contests every Saturday during summer? How long before the concept of a topless barista comes out?

Maybe I’m making more of this than I should, but I don’t think so. It’s just another of those things that makes me wonder if we’ve really come that far? Have we really made genuine progress in that "battle for equality"?

I don’t know… take a look and you tell me…

I do believe a little side note is in order here…

However I may feel about this matter - I do admit that it’s probably a smart marketing move, and will attract a large male clientele. If the coffee is good, reasonably priced and the service is excellent, I can imagine most guys thinking, "Hell yes! Why not enjoy the view while I wait for my morning mocha?"

It’s the same attitude that drives men to spend hard earned money to watch some woman they don’t know take her clothes off and mock masturbate on stage (or whatever strippers are doing and calling "dancing" these days…)

And I am sure most women will blow it off as meaningless. A few will be offended, but their methods of protest will do nothing more than drive more customers (both male and female) to these shops. The rest of us will sit back and shake our heads in wonder. And we’ll smile knowingly as the men in our lives get a little tongue tied whilst ordering their coffee, and try to claim they go to that particular coffee joint because it has a better roast than any of the others.

Tags: bikini baristas, sexism, women, equality, discrimination

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Love that Gunchick thang!

I’m not normally one for comic books, or comic-style art… That would be my daughter, GEC. She’s the comic junkie in the house. However, every now and then I run across something I just … well … really like. This is one of those times.

Can you imagine why I might like this image? Hmmm … I dunno … Lemme think for a sec ….

Oh yeah! Gotta be the chick with a gun concept! OK, I’ll forgive her for still having her damn finger on the trigger even when not being “on target” - I can live with that, this is a drawing, after all. But she’s HOT, dammit! And she’s got a GUN!

No clue who the guy is, I just discovered his stuff, and I’ve been sorting through some of his other work, pics, images, etc. And so far - I’m rapidly growing into a fan.

So, I just had to share.

Found on Photobucket and the CBR Forums (and I’m sure other places as well.)

Tags: comics, gunchick, artist, cool stuff

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Bigger ain’t always better…

I’m in the middle of writing a piece about knives that are ideal for ladies or younger users - those with smaller hands, limited knife experience and no desire to be carrying a tactical, sharp-edged boat anchor. Of course, I have to be uber polite in my article, here, I’m gonna say it how I feel it:

What is the deal with guys and knives, huh? You talk to men about finding a knife for a young lady, one who has never owned a knife before, and they hand you a pocketknife saying, “This is perfect!” Said knife usually sports a 3″ to 3.5″ blade, and is all black and “tactical” looking.

It’s not the kind of thing most non-knife loving women want floating around in their purse. And when I point that out, these guys feel the need to explain to me (a girl, last time I checked) how wrong I am, that this knife is “perfect” for girls to carry.

I finally have to pull my trump card, “That may be true. It may be the perfect size, weight, balance, etc. However, it’s UGLY to most women and looks COUNT!”

At that point all they can do is stammer about how the things I propose for women aren’t very good for self defense, or something like that. Who ever said this was about defense? Uh, guys, it ain’t!

The point here is to introduce these ladies to knives in a safe, non-threatening way so they can use a nice blade to open that damn box instead of giving me the shivers when I watch them flip open a pair scissors. The point is to convert them to the ranks of knife lovers by letting them fall in love with something small, easy to handle and “cute,” dammit!

I have to wonder if these are the same guys who introduce women to handguns by handing them a large-caliber boomer and saying, “Have a go with that li’l lady!” Then they wonder why the woman never goes shooting with them ever again.

Now, let me make something perfectly clear here. I own and carry several knives and they range from the downright petite and girl-friendly Kershaw Chive (the rainbow finish on that one never fails to get oohs and aahs) to the not-so-petite and very badass-looking SOG Seal Pup Elite that lives in my camping gear.

I love knives. If it has an edge, I’m probably interested in it. I love everything from classic pocket folders to the weird fantasy knives.

But I work with and know a lot of women who do not have any experience with knives outside of using a paring knife. If you’re lucky, they saw Dad or Grandpa with his pocketknife. If you’re very lucky, they know what a Swiss Army Knife is.

Nor am I saying all women have to have small and “cute” knives. Nope. There are a lot of us just like me who think of them as darn handy tools to have around. However, there are women out there who just don’t want the “tactical” look that is so popular today.

And guess what? There are guys out there who, for a number of reasons, would prefer to have something smaller and less “threatening” looking living in their pockets on a daily basis. What a concept! The entire knife-wielding world does not want the Ninja-Warrior, Demon-of-Darkness “Operator” model with a 4″-blade and scales in Covert Black, OD Green, Coyote Tan or Desert Camo.

So, what’s a person to do when they want a knife that’s smaller, easy to handle, has a little style going on and is solid-quality enough to be reliable, sturdy and survive the rigors of living in the depths of that special hell called a “purse”?

Well, I could tease you and say, “I’ll let you know when the article comes out, and you can buy the magazine.” But I won’t. I’ll say instead:

If you’re buying for yourself, go check out knife companies like Benchmade, Kershaw, Gerber, Buck and Spyderco for some incredibly cool knives, including a bunch that don’t scream “COP” or “MILITARY”! Otherwise, drag your friend to a reputable dealer and ask to see some “classic” folders, or some “small” folders.

Explain to the dealer you want something for a new knife user, a good dealer is going to know how to handle it. If they don’t - leave, quickly. Then let your friend decide what feels good.

A knife is a very personal thing. It should feel good in your hand. It should feel like it belongs there, and what feels “right” to one person may feel very awkward to another. Don’t be like my friends up there insisting that the thing that is best for YOU is the best knife for everyone. That’s not the way life works.

When it comes to writing for a living, I have to include model information. When it comes to my personal space, I don’t have to… I will share some thoughts later but remember these are just my favorites. I’ll repeat it, a knife is a very personal thing and it’s important to find one that feels “right” to the user.

And now the fun part. For any of you ladies out there who want to complain that I’m stereotyping and that all women aren’t like that, etc, etc. You’re right. All women aren’t. Hell, I’m not. But I know a lot who are, and I’ve introduced many of them to the joys of knife ownership. In short, instead of getting pissed at me for perpetuating the stereotype, learn something here and start converting people to knife lovers!

For you guys out there who want to disagree, and think there’s nothing wrong with that 3.5″ blade, perfectly suited pocketknife in Covert Black: Let me sum up the point you missed - that may be YOUR idea of perfect, but it’s not everyone’s idea of perfect. If you hand your knife to someone and their reaction is to take it very slowly, with a look of “ah, yeah… uhhhmmmm….. okay…” perhaps that is a bit too much knife for them at this time!

And, if you really want specific model suggestions, well… the sales departments at each of those companies are really terrific. But if you want to know what I got for my kids, the ones I carry around in my purse and ones that are on my regular gift list, that’s simple:

Regularly living in my purse and/or pocket are a Kershaw Chive, a ProTech Runt (a California-legal mini auto), a Spyderco Kiwi and a Benchmade Mini Griptillian. Those are my “little” knives, the ones that are small enough to carry around every day.

Between them, my kids have the Gerber Truss 2.0, the Buck Transport, CRKT’s Tiny Tighe Breaker and a couple of Swiss knives as well as some others (hey, they’re my kids - you expect them to not be knife geeks?)

And finally, my favorite gifts for newbie knifies? The things that are just too cool to pass up passing on? Kershaw’s Squaw Creek or Chive and Spyderco’s Cricket.

Tags: Knives, Spyderco, Benchmade, Gerber, Kershaw

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